Etiquette is a system of rules and regulations defining good form or
“good manner” in social, public or official behaviour. It originally applied
only to conduct in court circles, but the code has been extended to provide
guides for every day living.
The word “etiquette” is derived from the old French “estiquer”, and
that, in turn, from the old German “stechen”, both of which are verbs
meaning “to stick” or “affix”. some etymologists conjecture that centuries
ago regulations to be observed at court (or, possibly, in a barracky) were
pasted or stuck to a support or wall and eventually became “I’ estiquet”
(the rules of the day), whence “etiquette”. In France to-day, however, the
code of polite, social conduct is generally termed the rules of knowing
how to behave. In-English speaking countries, such rules, whether they
are guides for ceremonies or deal with ordinary social conventions such as
setting a table, are generally-classified as etiquette.
An offender faces no formal trial of sentence for breach of etiquette;
the penalty lies in the disapproval of other members of the group.
Regardless of its level of material culture, any highly stratified society will possess an etiquete in which every person knows the behaviour expected
from him (oward ou rs and from others toward himself.
Etiquelle is the glass of basic rules of politeness, but it is infuenced
by local or regionrl custonis, For example, etiquette requires that an
honoured guest be placed next (o the host or hostess, and custom dictat
what side that shall be, hu most of the western world it is the right side
but in Scandinavian countries it is usually the left side, and in the Orien
or Asian countries it is always the left,
Regional custom determines the manner of the greeting when
acquaintance meet, In southern Europe close male friends often embrace
as in Asia and Middle East. In Middle East countries male friends usualy
kiss three imes, while embracing. In several European countries a lady
rises to extend a hand in spontaneous greeting or when introduced, and in
some of these countries, a gentleman may raise her hand to his lips.
According to Beadnell the origin of kiss can be traced to Vedic India
(2000 B.C), He presumed that it started from the nose kiss. From India,
remarks Beadnell, the iss in one form or another appear to have spread
East to China and West to Persia, Greece and Europe in general. In the
Kamasutra of Vastsayana, we find vivid descriptions of various varieties
of erotic kisses, each with its particular name like the nominal kiss, the
touching kiss, the throbbing kiss, the bent kiss, the pressed kiss, kiss that
kindles love, transferred kiss, demonstrative kiss, clasping kiss etc. Child
is widely kissed by mother and near ones. In the Holy city of Makkah,
Hajra-i-Aswad, installed in Holy Kaaba the only stone is being kissed
every moment since thousands of years.
Customs, which may reflect deep-rooted cultural mares, are handed
down from generation to generations on the other hand, etiquette, which
began as rules of protocol and precedence often arbitrarily conceived by
rules to protect them from contact with lesser person, may change swiftly.
responding to the voice of a social arbiter or to economic and fashion
Irends.
The first book to call its contracts rules of etiquette was “The Fine
Gentleman’s Etiquete”: published in 1776. However the etiquette book
did not really flourish until the 19th century, with the advance oI ne
Industrial Revolution. The old distinctions between “superiors” and
“inleriors”, once accepted unquestioningly and so well understood that only occasionally did they need to be repeated in earlier conduct books,
now required sterner safeguards.
The early purpose of etiquette, once it moved outside of royal and
aristocratic circles and began to be applied to ordinary social life, seems to
have been the protection of the upper class. “Etiquette is the barrier which
society drawn around itself as a protection, a shield against the intrusion of
the impertinent, the improper, and the vulgar a guard against those
obtuse who, having neither talent nor delicacy, would be continually
thrusting themselves into the society of men to whom their presence might
be offensive and even insupportable”, say the book “Etiquette” published
in 1836.
Etiquette books explained the rituals and rules followed by 19th
century upper class society. Thus, new comers to wealth were aided in
concealing their social inexperience. They could learn that only silver
forks were deemed correct at “respectable” tables, and a spoon correct for
conveying peas to the mouth. A knife in the mouth? Never! although this
was not only common place among the lower middle class on both sides of
the Atlantic but also permissible at most aristocratic tables in Germany, an
example of how etiquette rules can differ. Napkins were not absolutely
necessary, and if hosts did not provide them, a gentleman was permitted to
use table cloth or his handkerchief.
Japanese etiquette requires that shoes be removed before one enters
a home, but Chinese do not remove their shoes. At Japanese tables it is
bad form to top rice with other food, while Chinese heap their foods on a
bed of rice.
In the Middle East, customs still dominates Bedouin dinning
etiquette. The hand (preferably the right hand) is used in eating and the
communal pat is dipped into by hand. According to Islamic school of
thought it is best to eat by right hand. Many modern societies in Asia also
in Pakistan follows the rules of Western behaviour and used standard
cutlery and requiring procedures.
American proponents of etiquette fought to establish some ceremony
in the young republic, a difficult task at first in a land where titles, class
distinctions, and rules of precedence were disavowed. Americans still
harnesses manners to morals and practices the simple rules of virtuous
conduct extolled in the behaviour books that preceded the etiquette book.
The majority rejected English and Continental formalities as
undemocratic, freely introduced strangers, exchanged public greeting
spontaneously between sexes, scoffed at calling cards, and often preferred
the knife to the fork as a feeding tool.
In some ways American etiquette has grown more relaxed, but in
other ways, noticeably more detailed. The etiquette of wedding progressed
from a simplicity that could be summed up in a few paragraphs to
elaborate details requiring 60 to 80 pages in standard etiquette books.
Etiquete today is based on common sense and consideration of the
other person. Since the framework and context of the communities of
which society is formed are constantly changing, the habits of etiquette can
and do change with them.